It’s really not hard. It’s a 10 inch flat screen where magic happens. Get it? Of course you do. So go fucking buy one. Stop taking everything so damn seriously. It’s just an amazingly cool computer. Don’t you like amazingly cool computers? Stop wringing your hands about platforms and publishing industries and openness. You don’t really even care about that shit. You think you do but you don’t.
It’ll be replaced by a better one next year. WELCOME TO THE UNIVERSE. Just stop it and buy one already. The thing is awesome. Who are you impressing by holding out? Your mom? The world could end tomorrow and then what? At least I’ll have used a MAGICAL COMPUTER for one day and you’ll be at home hiding under your couch eating Fig Newtons.
No one’s going to give you a cookie for not buying an iPad so just stop talking already. Go outside, it’s beautiful out. Go hug someone. Go have sex, find an orgy, I hear they’re great. But don’t waste your time writing about how the iPad is somehow ruining your life just by existing.
WAH FLASH. Suck on my floppy disk.
You bore me. Just go buy one and shut the hell up.
No? Well, have fun with your Ubuntu shitbox. I’ll be over here in the FUTURE with my MAGIC PAD.
