All mixed up (Taken with instagram)

All mixed up (Taken with instagram)

"I took a girl to a piano bar last night. Ok it wasn’t so much a piano bar as a bar with a piano in it. Ok it was a piano store and we were drinking. Ok fine, I was at home jerking off to the piano man and drinking mouthwash."
- HEYRONBLOG.COM

Pros and Cons

  • Shawn:
    I mean, just my opinion. You could burn their houses down and I'd support you
  • Garrett:
    appreciated, and VERY GOOD TO KNOW
  • Shawn:
    After watching Dexter it's amazing what seems reasonable
  • Garrett:
    yeah, that show will do that to you
  • Shawn:
    Especially the binge we've been on. I'm really considering murder these days. Seems fun
  • Garrett:
    pretty much the only negative seems to be the constant threat of being caught.
  • Shawn:
    right exactly, otherwise it's so convenient
  • Garrett:
    which would wreak havoc on my stomach, i think. although getting to kill jerks makes up for it
  • Shawn:
    pros and cons

Aliens

I recently read James Cameron’s screenplay for Aliens which got me re-obsessed with the franchise in a way I haven’t been since I was 7. I found out a bunch of stuff I never knew. So am I the only one who never put together that Jenette Goldstein who played Private Vazquez was also John Connor’s foster mom in Terminator 2?

Perhaps because she’s not actually hispanic (Goldstein?). In Aliens they clearly painted her skin brown to make her look like she was. We’ll uh, ignore the implications of that. At least now I know what happened to that fiery young hispanic actress.

"Facebook runs on a very stiff, crude model of what people are like. It herds everybody — friends, co-workers, romantic partners, that guy who lived on your block but moved away after fifth grade — into the same big room. It smooshes together your work self and your home self, your past self and your present self, into a single generic extruded product. It suspends the natural process by which old friends fall away over time, allowing them to build up endlessly, producing the social equivalent of liver failure. On Facebook, there is one kind of relationship: friendship, and you have it with everybody. You’re friends with your spouse, and you’re friends with your plumber."
-

Lev Grossman’s profile on Mark Zuckerberg for Time. (via johnaugust)

This properly articulates the awkward feeling I experience — but could never quite pin down — every time I sign into Facebook.

New Tenacious D Album in 2011

We’re gonna be talking about love, there are gonna be some songs about sex and there’s gonna be songs about food

Jack Black on the upcoming new Tenacious D album.

Damn Herbal Tea

For no good reason I’ve decided to go on a little detox to start the new year. I’m cutting out caffeine, alcohol, fried food and most cheese. Not forever mind you, I’m not stupid. Just until. Um. Well, probably until the exact moment I crave one of those things. But it seems like a good idea. I’ve been addicted to caffeine since age 6 and developed the habit of having a daily beer. And fried food is fantastic. But all of these things are kinda like eating (delicious) poison. So, let’s see what a couple weeks without them can do.

Hence the picture of herbal tea. I usually avoid herbal tea like the plague cause it’s basically useless to me without caffeine. But I’m hard wired to drink something hot in the morning. I’m pretty sure that bag is filled with seeds, pennies, pocket lint and some cat nip.

Must watch. (via johnaugust)

Bees

(via gbb, barbchronicles)

Me And My Cat Have a Conversation About The Christmas Tree

Me: Hey cat, what’s up?
Cat: Oh how’s it goin’ man? Just licking my feet.
Me: It’s about the tree. The Christmas Tree.
Cat: Oh yeah, thanks for that.
Me: No, see. It’s not for you. It’s a decorative tree for Christmas.
Cat: Say what now?
Me: You can’t touch it and you especially can’t climb into it and just perch there like you did yesterday.
Cat: Blinks
Me: Yeah see, you just have to ignore it OK? I really need you to do that for me.
Cat: Yeah, see, I don’t think that’s gonna happen.
Me: Why can’t you be nice to me just this once?
Cat: You mean pay you back for locking me inside a tiny apartment, cutting off my junk, filing my precious nails down to ineffective stumps and feeding me chicken liver paste every day? Oh yeah, let me get right on that.
Me: You sleep for 18 hours a day, don’t act like your life is so hard. You can do anything else you want, just don’t touch the tree.
Cat: You know I’m a cat right?
Me: Of course.
Cat: Well you wouldn’t put a giant ball of yarn in your home and expect me to just ignore it would you?
Me: No.
Cat: A tree filled with shiny ornaments is the next best thing. It’s basically designed to make me go crazy with excitement.
Me: But you have so many other toys!
Cat: You don’t see me putting cheese cakes in the middle of the living room and going “Hey don’t touch this, it’s my decorative cheese cake for Catstivus, the cat solstice holiday.”
Me: Listen, can we come to a compromise?
Cat: I’m listening.
Me: You don’t go anywhere near the tree and I’ll let you lick my dinner plate when I’m done.
Cat: I’ll ignore the tree if you give me access to some un-fixed lady cats.
Me: I can’t do that.
Cat: Well, then, I look forward to seeing you in the decorative holiday tree my friend.