“Every time I walk out to the mound I just assure the guys that at least we will all be dead eventually,” Quade continued.

I really am. (Taken with instagram)

Today at 2pm is the first Red Sox/Yankees game of the season. I can’t watch it because I live in NY. Which makes perfect sense. I mean, why allow someone like me who shells out hundreds of dollars a year for live streaming MLB content to watch the games in the city I live in?

I mean certainly don’t offer to charge me more to watch these games, even though I’d jump at the chance to give you more money. The bottom line is I don’t deserve to watch these games. I’m too eager a customer, I need to be punished somehow. I mean is my money really any good now that I don’t subscribe to cable? It’s actually not. They started paying me in Canadian nickels the second I cancelled Time Warner.

And no one wants Canadian nickels.

I’m finally getting around to reading that Paul Haggis Scientology article. Buried deep is this paragraph:

Brolin says that he once witnessed John Travolta practicing Scientology. Brolin was at a dinner party in Los Angeles with Travolta and Marlon Brando. Brando arrived with a cut on his leg, and explained that he had injured himself while helping a stranded motorist on the Pacific Coast Highway. He was in pain. Travolta offered to help, saying that he had just reached a new level in Scientology. Travolta touched Brando’s leg and Brando closed his eyes.

Now that’s pretty damn interesting purely from a Scientology perspective. But what specifically got me was this part:

Brando arrived with a cut on his leg, and explained that he had injured himself while helping a stranded motorist on the Pacific Coast Highway.

WHAT. Brando stopped and helped a stranded motorist? Could you imagine getting a flat on the highway, you’re looking under the hood, a car pulls over and it’s Marlon Brando?

Not to mention the fact that of all the celebrities in Hollywood at that time he was probably the least equipped to help you, a stranded motorist, in a time of need. What would he do to help, try to eat your broken car?

I love this story. I love this story to death.

“College, city job, state job. That’s my advice.”

(long pause)

“If I had to do it over again that’s what I’d do.”

(long pause)

“Instead I chose heroin. And music.”

You don’t often see material like this coming from an official MLB team. They know their audience! The entire series of videos is refreshingly absurd. I especially like “Encore Encore” which is even funnier if you realize that it’s actually Felix Hernandez and manager Eric Wedge.

All mixed up (Taken with instagram)

"I took a girl to a piano bar last night. Ok it wasn’t so much a piano bar as a bar with a piano in it. Ok it was a piano store and we were drinking. Ok fine, I was at home jerking off to the piano man and drinking mouthwash."

— HEYRONBLOG.COM

I recently read James Cameron’s screenplay for Aliens which got me re-obsessed with the franchise in a way I haven’t been since I was 7. I found out a bunch of stuff I never knew. So am I the only one who never put together that Jenette Goldstein who played Private Vazquez was also John Connor’s foster mom in Terminator 2?

Perhaps because she’s not actually hispanic (Goldstein?). In Aliens they clearly painted her skin brown to make her look like she was. We’ll uh, ignore the implications of that. At least now I know what happened to that fiery young hispanic actress.