Skip the Marvel iPad app and get the Comics app instead. It’s the exact same app as the Marvel app, made by the same company, but instead of only carrying Marvel comics it includes a bunch of indie publishers in addition to Marvel. My friend Mike DeVito’s book, The Stuff of Legend, is worth a read and I’ve heard good things about “The Walking Dead” as well (which has been picked up by AMC as series).

“Star Wars Episide II Attack of the Clones is the worst thing ever made by a human.”

And so it begins. God I can’t wait to sit down and watch all nine parts.

It’s really not hard. It’s a 10 inch flat screen where magic happens. Get it? Of course you do. So go fucking buy one. Stop taking everything so damn seriously. It’s just an amazingly cool computer. Don’t you like amazingly cool computers? Stop wringing your hands about platforms and publishing industries and openness. You don’t really even care about that shit. You think you do but you don’t.

It’ll be replaced by a better one next year. WELCOME TO THE UNIVERSE. Just stop it and buy one already. The thing is awesome. Who are you impressing by holding out? Your mom? The world could end tomorrow and then what? At least I’ll have used a MAGICAL COMPUTER for one day and you’ll be at home hiding under your couch eating Fig Newtons.

No one’s going to give you a cookie for not buying an iPad so just stop talking already. Go outside, it’s beautiful out. Go hug someone. Go have sex, find an orgy, I hear they’re great. But don’t waste your time writing about how the iPad is somehow ruining your life just by existing.

WAH FLASH. Suck on my floppy disk.

You bore me. Just go buy one and shut the hell up.

No? Well, have fun with your Ubuntu shitbox. I’ll be over here in the FUTURE with my MAGIC PAD.

Lickin’

Buzz Andersen:

I’ve definitely noticed this phenomenon—”…the insidious practice of color-grading every movie with a simplified, distilled palette of teal and orange”— subconsciously for some time now. This look feels like it’s become a reliable indicator of mainstream movie blandness.

“Christ, What an Asshole!” is the answer to every New Yorker Magazine Caption Contest

“Son Of A Bitch”

This photo accompanied a login error page at my gas company. The computer in the photo is a Mac Performa 550 which was released in 1994.

This was my family computer 16 years ago. This thing had a floppy drive. If you look closely you can see actual floppy disks on the desk.

The 87 year old man in the photo is now 103 years old.

And this is the picture my gas company shows me when I haven’t logged in properly.

You are a floppy disk using 103 year old man. TRY AGAIN.

Charlie: So, how’s the wife, kids?
Stan: Oh them.
Charlie: Something wrong?
Stan: Not at all, I just was confirming you meant them.
Charlie: Are you hinting at something?
Stan: Uh, no. Are you? I’m just making sure I can use the pronoun, “them.”
Charlie: … OK. So, how are they?
Stan: GOD, THEM?
Charlie: OK, what’s happening here?
Stan: Sorry the cat stepped on my caps lock key.
Charlie: We’re on the phone.
Stan: Can we talk about gambling yet?

The Sandpit

So surreally un-New York New York.

(via dotsara)