Shawn Morrison: Is that the eye I jammed a screwdriver into?
Shawn Morrison: Hmm, interesting slip.
Shawn Morrison: *You* jammed a screwdriver into?
Me: No, it's not. It's my right eye.
Me: It's the eye I poured hot spaghetti sauce into yesterday with a funnel, but I don't think that's related.
Shawn Morrison: Yeah that's way after.
Shawn Morrison: But you really need to stop using those funnels.
Me: Why does everyone keep saying that????
Shawn Morrison: Well it would be fine...
Shawn Morrison: Except you keep setting up elaborate hot dishes and pointing the funnel at your eye.
Shawn Morrison: Which honestly just seems like you're asking for it.
Me: How do YOU eat dinner, mister smarty pants?
Shawn Morrison: I point the funnel into my pants.
Shawn Morrison: Wait, what was the question?
Me: You wear pants when you eat?
Me: I don't see the point.
Me: It's so much easier to clean slop off your bare legs.
Shawn Morrison: Such a mick thing to say.

Manny Ramirez Likes Red Sox's New Blue...

I made tea.

My Current Favorite Cereals

Puffins - Peanut Butter (so good!) Kashi Cinnamon Harvest Kashi Heart-to-Heart Honey Toasted...

Ronald Chevalier

Dark Knight

I feel compelled to write about Dark Knight because Batman is so deeply entrenched in my childhood....

Twinkle

Slander Another day, another wikipedia edit to defend my...

“I don’t want shitloads of crap I want small amounts of...”
— Garrett Murray sums up the...

Somewhat Silent Mode

So one of my biggest pet peeves with the iPhone is that the silent switch doesn’t truly...

This week Garrett and I guest wrote/directed the test film...

How to make a Grilled Charlie

“It was weird, I actually got choked up twice during that...”
— Me, referring to getting...

“Come again? You know I don’t speak Spanish, in English...”
— Ron Burgundy, Anchorman (A...

Birthday Cookie Cake! My co-worker Autumn made me two...

So those with a keen eye may have noticed a bunch of...

Manny is the awesome

Third baseman Ryan Zimmerman catches the ball...

Babies

The Sun Also Rises

I just finished my first Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises. Nothing like what I expected and by the very...

The LOST/Red Sox connection grows deeper. We all know Jack...

“I won’t be able to make it fellas. Veronica and I are...”
— Anchorman, sponsored in part...

“We can build sex robots and send a man to the moon yet I...”
— Me

Shawn: 800+400
Shawn: ha ha ha
Shawn: I meant to enter that in a calculator
Garrett: nice
Garrett: i like how you're using a calculator for awesomely simple math, too
Shawn: haha
Shawn: I'm a moron
Garrett: i do it frequently out of habit as well
Shawn: but seriously what's the answer?
Garrett: 15000
Shawn: sweet!

“I wanna say something. I’m gonna put it out there; if...”
— Anchorman, Part of the new...

I know there’s been a lot of jokes about how the...

Regarding Bill Buckner

Can we put the Buckner story to bed now? The idea that the typical Red Sox fan has been...

“I HATE GoDaddy.”
— fling Amen! Is there anything...

Shawn: So the vomit's all cleaned up (I saved it in a baggie and put it under the sink like you asked). but there's still a solid amount of blood on the couch and I don't think it's coming out, should I just burn it?
Matt: ... ?
Shawn: Sorry, wrong window.

Old Dodge from LA - Joshua Tree set.

The problem with calling the Arizona Diamondbacks “D-backs” is that it sounds an awful...

Maniacal Rage Podcast, Episode 30

At long last Episode 30 of the Maniacal Rage podcast is foisted upon the unsuspecting world. The...

They want it that way

Gothamist: Putting Subway Pole Hoggers on Notice For the...

The final season of Battlestar begins tonight and I find myself, unsurprisingly, with a mix of...

Been meaning to point this out for ages but of all the...

Alternate Universe Fu Manchu Shawn See the MRTV Episode 4...

No sense of humor at all

Shawn: Our office pulled an April fool's prank on the office across the hall
Shawn: we burned down their office
Garrett: NICE
Garrett: casualties?
Shawn: all but one guy
Shawn: and he didn't get it
Shawn: what a prude!!
Garrett: APRIL FUCKING FOOLS!

Tip: Use lye to dissolve dead bodies. I can’t even believe the number of times I’ve...

Hulu embedding

When I linked to the SNL Clip Andy’s Dad the other day I missed that Hulu allows embedding...

Digital Short: Andy's Dad

from La Day Two

I’m up this morning at 6am to watch the Sox season...

Me: Quick, I need suggestions for the name of my new work computer.
Matt: Starbuck
Me: Oh that's a good idea...
Me: She crashes a lot, but she's fast and gets the job done
Matt: lol
Matt: literally
Matt: did i tell you my iPhone is now named Mork?

from LA Day One

The Sarah Connor Chronicles

So the new Terminator TV series The Sarah Connor Chronicles did a funny thing with it’s season...

This is what my monitor looked like when I woke it up from...

The Solar System iGoogle theme is absolutely fantastic....

Garfield minus Garfield

ECHO PARK TIME TRAVEL MART

MRPC: Episode 29

Vanity Fair posed modern celebrities in...

How to reheat your frozen pizza, using Sous...

If You Can’t Let Go, Twitter - New York Times This article...

The new Knight Rider has absolutely positively no chance of...

Well, that proves it. God exists. Guess I was...

Poststrike: When Will My Show Be Back?

Every time I want to write about Counting Crows I feel the...

I love this “If you hate Hillary you’re a misogynist” bullshit. What a perfect way...

After starting with a tumblr theme that was largely based on...

Good Point

Shawn: though wasn't it weird that Locke didn't seem to have much of a beef with Ben?
Evan: yeah like he forgot that Ben shot him
Shawn: right, and that he's seriously injured from being shot
Shawn: oh right, the healing thing
Evan: I guess if you heal real quick then maybe being shot wouldn't be something to get all that mad about

The qualities I find attractive in...

being smart being funny being caring being a cute lesbian being a fictional character in a TV...

Michael Showalter | The A.V. Club

For my Lost friends, this is from the opening credits of...

Recipe for a “burger” that is made of 100%...

“Yeah, Outlook was made by the devil. I literally smell...”
— Me

I’ve come up with a New Years Resolution! I haven’t been drinking Coke for the...

MRTV #4 on YouTube

Since there seems to be demand for it, I finally uploaded MRTV #4 to YouTube. The reason I...

Tomatometer for iPhone

Oh Sweet Relief

I finally missed a day posting to the new Tumblr blog. I had a streak going. One post for every day...

See, the thing is I could probably be convinced on...

“It used to be that when two rap game niggas were...

Welcome Internet Creeps

Awesome, just got my first Google search referral for “mini horse blowjob.” I’ll...

Bateman and Cera on the Birds and the Bees

Red Sox fans will have to get up early to watch the World Series champions start their title...

Videos of Baseball Park Demolitions

Recap of My Steroids Debate in NYC

Sorry for the feed problem

About 20 items from the last 2 weeks appeared all at once in the RSS feed due to a problem with the...

"Why on earth would we choose to put the...

This exists.

“Cloverfield is coming. I’m getting excited! Not because I...”
— Paul Scheer.com

Deathly Hallows Film To Be Two-Parter

Cheese plate dips at Otto (taken by Dad) Every time we go...

“The whole show was about smoking turds.”
— My father, on seeing Lenny...

First banner up at Moscone Center Tell me that January 15th...

The Internet

Why is it that when smart, informed technology people need to say “the internet” they...

Lost Font

A Guide to CSS Support in Email

The first Gorilla Coffee order just came in. Absolutely in...

“Hmmf. With Zimmer gone and now Torre, visualizing the...”
— Scott Simpson

Here’s the thing about the Clemens situation. Everyone is saying McNamee is credible because...

Brown Bag Tip

Instead of going through the tedious (and depressing) chore of assembling the week’s lunches...

Best Movies of 2008

Compiling my annual “best of” movie list was weird because I had no idea what I was...

Mario knockoff is the most evil game ever

Ebert on There will be Blood: “There Will Be Blood” is the kind of film that is...

Japanese Bug Fights

I simply couldn’t not link to this. JapaneseBugFights.com is a site that shows video of bug...

As a longtime fan of their butter product I was excited to...

The Bureau of Communication -...

3-2-1 v2 - Countdown Widget for Mac OS X

Rippin' me off

Compare this Onion Christmas Card to one that I made myself in 2002. Coincidence? Probably.

I have been sea kayaking for quite a number of years,...

The A.V. Club interviews Paul Thomas...

Bright lights

“This box has been in my trunk for weeks so there might be...”
— A web server admin on the...

The Maniacal Rage Podcast: Episode 28

Riding on the subway

When this dude raised both arms to grab the hand railing his shirt lifted up and there it was: ass...

Switched to Tumblr

Which is why the feed suddenly changed if you’re following me in a news reader. Happy New...

“Oh Minerva, if only you had a penis and balls.”
—  Bill Hader on SNL as Gay...

Emotional palette cleansing

I’ve noticed an interesting side effect to running. It is an emotional reset switch for me. No...

Roast Christmas dinner was delicious!

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

There are certain films when I ask the question, “was that a good story or a good film?”...

Gorilla Coffee

Bill Hicks on Marketing