The cool thing about taking four years off is when you take 6 weeks off it doesn’t even count as a hiatus.
Shawn has issues with his sleep behavior and pitches his next amazing Hollywood script, Garrett goes postal on the US Postal Service and worries about his kid’s future, and we flirt with the possibility of some amazing format changes. Thanks to Bill Griesau for his brief appearance.
I failed to mention it two weeks ago, but the podcast is back. And we just released the 2nd post-hiatus episode:
The bowl cut and awkward shampooings make for uncomfortable haircut experiences, Shawn details one of his childhood dreams that has been partially fulfilled and we discuss a rare, new disease related to candy that might one day be named after Garrett.
A Manhattan
Dear Bartender,
A Manhattan is a delicious drink.
A Manhattan is not served on the rocks. If I wanted a Manhattan on the rocks I’d have ordered a “Manhattan on the rocks.” It is ok to ask, however.
A Manhattan is stirred, not shaken. I am not James Bond, this is not a James Bond movie. Please stir my Manhattan.
A Manhattan is not made with sugar syrup. If I were a nine year old child I could order a “Sweet Manhattan” but when a grown adult orders a Manhattan the only thing sweet about it should be the vermouth.
I’m not going to even give you shit over the garnish, honestly, I don’t care about the garnish. Put a cherry there, an orange peel or no garnish at all. You can even put one of those neon Maraschino cherries as long as you rinse it off first. Get the above right and you can garnish it however you damn well please.
Thanks for listening.
love,
Shawn
For aspiring screenwriters, this is a goldmine.
Pointless Rant: Automagically
Please stop using the annoyingly cute word “automagically”. I have no problem with made up words but this one makes zero sense. When you say “automagically” what you really mean is just “automatically”. There is no case where using “automagically” adds more meaning than simply using “automatically.” You’re just being cute. And stop being cute.
Only if you are literally referring to magic may you use “automagically.” If you invent a machine that turns farts into gold bricks you may say, “And it automagically turns farts into gold bricks!” Cause yes, that’s magic.
Everything else is just “automatic”. Thank you.
It’s not a TV
The biggest mistake people are making when writing about the supposed upcoming Apple television set is thinking about it as Apple improving the television. This is not what Apple does. When Apple made the iPhone they didn’t make a better phone, they made a computer that fit in your pocket that happened to make phone calls. The reason that first iPhone keynote in 2007 was so mind-blowing was because they managed to run OS X on a phone that ran great mobile apps. But we were all screaming “Look what they made a phone do!” The phone part was just one app.
So the Apple television set won’t be a better TV it will be a great living room computer. (I’m going to assume Apple won’t release it unless it’s actually great). The “TV” will just be one app. FaceTime will be an app. Weather will be an app. Similar to the iPhone or iPad app ecosystem but tailored for the living room.
There’s been speculation that Siri will be the primary interface for the new TV and I think this makes a lot of sense. Siri on a TV means more than voice controlled channel changing. It brings the assistant functionality to the living room. Instead of needing to take out your phone and long-press the home button Siri will be there for everyone to use at any time. I suspect it will be possible to activate Siri without touching a button. (Perhaps something akin to Star Trek’s “Computer, how long until we arrive at Rigel IV?”). It could do everything from play video content to show your upcoming calendar week on the display to executing home automation tasks. “Siri, dim the lights and play Parks and Rec.”
The imagination is really the limit. Especially when you think about how it will integrate not with today’s useful but limited Siri but to the Siri two or three generations down the road.
The interesting debate to me isn’t how Apple can improve the TV experience. That seems really obvious. The part I care about is what else this thing will do and how we will interact with it.
Forever’s Not So Long
If you’re going to watch (or re-watch) one short film about the end of the world on the day the world ends, make it this one.
162
On the last day of the MLB regular season there are four interesting things:
1) If the Yankees lose and the Orioles win they will play a one game playoff for the AL East, the loser of which will play another one game playoff against the 2nd wild card.
2) The A’s and Rangers are tied for the AL West and they happen to be playing each other in the last game. Whoever wins, wins the West, the loser plays the first wildcard (see #1)
3) Detroit won the AL Central with the 7th best record in the AL. So the Rays and Angels will finish with better records than the Tigers but they go home tomorrow.
4) If Josh Hamilton doesn’t hit any home runs, Miguel Cabrera will be the first triple crown winner since Carl Yastrzemski did it in 1967. That’s a really long time.
Second year in a row we don’t know the final post season match-ups heading into game 162. Should be a fun day.
Edit: Added a fourth! Because I thought of a fourth.
Using Technology to Make Life Harder: iCache Geode
The iCache Geode sounds like a neat idea until you think about it for more than a second. Then it sounds like a neat idea with horrible usability problems. I’ve got to believe the creators of this were so excited by the concept they failed to consider the pretty obvious problems.
Speed
Every time you use the thing you have to unlock your phone, perhaps type in a passcode if you use one, navigate to and launch the app if it’s not already open, let the device scan your finger print so it knows it’s you, then do whatever nonsense is required to imprint the magic card. Then you take out your card and apparently have to slap it hard to activate it. Then you can finally swipe it.
Compare that to the steps I take when I pay for something:
- Take out card.
- There is no step 2.
I used the Starbucks app for a while to pay for my daily tea. After a while I learned that it actually takes a long time to get an app up and running while waiting in line. Using a card is actually super simple and convenient, especially if you always keep your cards in the same places in your wallet.
Convention
Cashiers are constantly going to ask “What the hell is that?” every time you use it. Do you really want to have a conversation about the iCache Geode every time you pay for something? Maybe if you’re lonely? I also wouldn’t be surprised if smaller businesses became suspicious and refused to let you use it.
Security
I’d say about half the time I pay for something I’m asked for my ID. This requires showing the cashier both my card and ID so they can match the names. This is obviously impossible with the Geode so now you have to pull out your wallet anyway and if you left it behind then you’re screwed.
Great for Criminals
The iCache Geode seems to make the perfect tool to steal other people’s credit cards. A corrupt waiter could easily scan every diner’s credit card, quit the next day and go on a shopping spree. The finger print thingy protects your cards but it doesn’t protect my cards from you.
The good news is, according to Garrett, it doesn’t work well anyway. So thank god for that.
I don’t even have one, these were just my impressions from reading about the Kickstarter project. For a thoughtful hands on review, definitely read Garrett’s entire post.
There is definitely a need for a simplified payment experience. But the iCache Geode is not it.
